Several Sundays ago I had the unfortunate but much needed experience of taking my son to his friend’s funeral. Kaitlyn was fifteen years old and passed away a few weeks ago in an automobile accident. My oldest son and Kaitlyn had been very close. They spent much of the summer together and had been friends since grade school. Kaitlyn, from what I understand had an impact on my sons life to the extent that the only pictures he kept in his dresser drawer were mine and my husband’s wedding picture and several pictures of Kaitlyn. It was and has been extremely difficult to watch my son experience her death. It is so unbelievable and so extremely permanent. Death of a friend or loved one . . . as we all know is the one thing that draws us to the realization that we are fragile, that our relationships are fragile. Death is the unmistakable knowledge that we have no choice in the matter . . . that end of something we may or may not have taken for granted is ‘over’. There will never be another chance to say ‘I love you’ or ‘I miss you’ or ‘I’m sorry’. At one point during Kaitlyn’s funeral, somewhere towards the end a song that I assumed her parents chose was played. As the minister asked us all to bow our heads in silence this song came on.
It was a type of epiphany for myself and I assume for most of the people in the room that day. It has prompted me to do a lot of soul searching these past few weeks. Sad . . . that it would take the death of one of my son’s friends to make me take stock, when we should have been paying attention all along.
I just lost a friend myself last week and its gonna take me time to adjust to him not being here anymore… and it made me think a lot about the precariousness of life and my beliefs… my faith in something better than this…
Death is part of life’s eternal cycle… at some point we will all deal with this inevitable end or new beginning…
That reminds me that we should try to enjoy each day that passes for the blessings it brings us.
You are lucky to have your husband now and your kids to illuminate your life… I dearly hope that you enjoy every minute of it.
Thanks for sharing the song.
I love this song and I actually even remember the first time I heard it last year. It was really great and inspiring to read the lyrics again.
I hope your son is better. It’s a hard process to mourn such a close friend.
It took more than 2 years to my little one to be at peace with the fact that one of our dear friend (who was like a ‘grandpa’ to her) had died.
He was the one who taught her to swim and dive… she was swimming with him in his swimming pool every holiday since she was a baby !!! Since his death, she refused to go back in the water. She refused to talk about him because it hurt.
But for the first time this year, when we were at Patti’s over the summer, she went back swimming and had fun with Patti’s daughters.
She told me that at first she was thinking about him all the time when she was in the water… (and that she will probably think about him every time she swims…) but that it was not a sad memory anymore, it was good memories of good times.
And I said that it’s the best way to celebrate this person we love(d).
I hope your son will find peace.
It’s gonna take time but some day…
Love, sweetie
Take Care !
Ally.
Thank you Ally! I am so sorry for your loss as well! Matt is doing better, much better in fact, but for one reason or another I can’t seem to shake Kaitlyn’s death even though I only knew of her. I do realize that as parents, our children tend to cope and adjust to difficult situations sometimes better than we do!
OH my god, that’s a horrible saddness to lose a friend, I’m sorry your son had had to deal with that loss of such an importantffriendship and being so young! It’s very sad…..prayers to ya’ll & the girls family…..
hugs. xoxoxox